16 - Excuses
by kaahiescheck
Summary: Something mixing Rick's quotes and Percy's inputs of the times Annabeth defended Luke.


**I'm ashamed, guys.**

**I was _so _out of it that I had to go through all PJO books trying to find mentions of Annabeth defending Luke, just because I didn't feel like writing too much. That took me a while, and then I didn't have any inspiration to write the Percy parts. I did half of it and kind of... forgot about it. I found it a few weeks later and went like _HOLY SHIT, I WAS GONNA POST THIS_.**

**So, yeah. The quotes in italics aren't mine and aren't in order. In case you want to know from which part of which book they are and can't identify, I don't know, PM me and I'll probably remember. XOXO.**

* * *

It'd sting. At first I couldn't quite make out what I was feeling, what the sudden butterflies in my stomach, boiling anger, and urge to punch something meant. All I knew was that, whichever feeling that was, I didn't like it.

Knowing that Annabeth had spent an important and significant part of her life running away with Thalia and Luke made me feel strangely left out from everything, as if I'd jumped into their story in the middle of it and started awkwardly meddling with it – which I kind of _had_ done, anyway. Still, the way Annabeth closed herself up whenever the subject was brought up left an unspoken _I don't want to tell you_ vibe in the air. It made me feel even more left out.

And it made me angry. Annabeth kept saying Luke wasn't a bad guy, and that I couldn't see it because I hadn't had the time to get to know him for real like she had. She expected me to understand why she trusted him, yet she wouldn't tell me about the time he wasn't a whinny, though still potentially dangerous, bitter demigod.

* * *

"_But you _saw_," Annabeth insisted. "When it hit him, just for a second, he was dazed. He came back to his senses."_

"_So maybe Kronos wasn't completely settled in the body, or whatever," I said. "It doesn't mean Luke was in control."_

"_You _want_ him to be evil, is that it?" Annabeth yelled. "You didn't know him before, Percy. I did!"_

"_What is it with you?" I snapped. "Why do you keep defending him?"_

* * *

It took me some time to put my finger on what I'd feel when Luke's name was mentioned. It took a bit more of time for me to stop denying and mentally say the word. _Jealousy_. Jealousy. I was _jealous_. Jealous of Luke. Why? Well, that took some more time for me to entirely figure it out and not deny it to myself. But, in general, I think I came to that conclusion pretty quickly by my standards.

* * *

_I knew the three of them had been runaways together, hiding from monsters, surviving on their own before Grover found them and tried to get them to Half-Blood Hill. But whenever Annabeth talked about the time she'd spent with them, I kind of felt… I don't know. Uncomfortable?_

_No. That's not the word._

_The word was _jealous_._

* * *

Probably because Luke was Mr. Perfect. Blue-eyed, blonde, funny kind of dude, a great swordsman, and a lot older. I might not be a girl expert, but he was obviously that guy who had all Aphrodite girls going crazy with his lopsided grin. Not that I wanted that girl attention to myself. Still, it was hard to stand up to him; I felt like I _had_ to win, apart from all obvious reasons.

Then I took more time to realize I only cared about _one_ specific girl paying attention to him. Which sucked, really, because Annabeth was the one who admired him the most. Even Thalia had been through denial stage and back.

* * *

_"You didn't believe I was dead?"_

_"Never."_

_She hesitated. "Neither is Luke, you know. I mean… he isn't dead." I stared at her. I didn't know_

_if she was cracking under the stress or what. "Annabeth, that fall was pretty bad. There's no way_

—_"_

_"He isn't dead," she insisted. "I know it. The same way you knew about me." That comparison_

_didn't make me too happy._

* * *

_"Well?" Luke asked. He tried to hide it, but I could hear fear in his voice. Thalia trembled with fury._

_Behind her, Annabeth came scrambling, finally free from her bonds. Her face was bruised and streaked with dirt. "Don't kill him!"_

_"He's a traitor," Thalia said. "A traitor!"_

_"We'll bring Luke back," Annabeth pleaded. "To Olympus. He… he'll be useful."_

* * *

That was probably around the time I started going like _Oh_. Jealousy. Right.

I hated picturing little Annabeth with her big gray eyes shining with excitement and respect and appreciation as she looked up at a probably-already-perfect fourteen year-old Luke; the guy who promised her a thousand things and then proceeded to break her heart over and over again. It was frustrating to watch Annabeth still believe he could be saved, believe that somehow he'd become good again. It was like she was almost blind when it came to Luke.

* * *

_"I guess I understand how you feel," I said. "But Thalia's right. Luke has already betrayed you so many times. He was evil even before Kronos. I don't want him to hurt you anymore."_

_Annabeth pursed her lips. I could tell she was trying not to get mad. "And you'll understand if I keep hoping there's a chance you're wrong."_

_I looked away. I felt like I'd done my best, but that didn't make me feel any better._

* * *

And they say love is blind.

* * *

"And lose a love to worse than death_." Annabeth had tears in her eyes. "That was the last line, Percy. Are you happy now?"_

_The sun seemed colder than it had a moment ago. "Oh," I said. "So Luke—"_

"_Percy, I didn't know who the prophecy was talking about. I—I didn't know if…" She faltered helplessly. "Luke and I—for years, he was the only one who really cared about me. I thought…"_

* * *

Oh.

I mean, she was my best friend… right? It was only natural for me to look out for her – even though most of the time Annabeth does a better job of it herself – and get angry when she'd set herself up for pain despite my warnings. If she would just stop thinking Luke is perfect.

Annabeth hardly ever smiled these days. She was too busy (working on plans with Chiron) and too worried (about the war) to enjoy anything. And she tended to ignore me when I tried to get closer, which made everything even more frustrating. It felt like she was slowly walking away from me, and if there hadn't been Rachel, I probably would have done something about it.

But the thing is, we couldn't talk without the lingering tension of our obvious disagreements on a bunch of stuff hanging in the air, turning the conversation cold and ruining everything a bit more.

* * *

_"You don't believe me about Luke," Annabeth said, "but we'll see him again. He's in trouble,_

_Percy. He's under Kronos's spell."_

_I didn't feel like arguing, though it made me mad. How could she still have any feelings for that creep? How could she possibly make excuses for him?_

* * *

She rarely laughed. When she wouldn't ignore me and I wasn't too pissed about the way she was acting, I would try to crack some joke. Only once I got a half smile from her, and she dismissed me a moment later claiming that I was distracting her and that I should go play with my _friends_. Ouch.

But I really had enough of it when I was casually pouring water on myself in the corner of the arena after working my butt off trying to kill everybody during the lesson. Annabeth was there, and she had barely looked at me during the entire thing, and I was the one doing the talking.

I couldn't help but glance over my shoulder at her, something I'd caught myself doing very often those past few weeks. She leaned down to fetch from the floor the armor of a dummy that had gotten torn away from it, and Pollux accidentally bumped into her – because for some reason he was walking backwards. I automatically straightened up when Annabeth fell down, but turned out it wouldn't make a difference.

I tried to hear their conversation.

"This is ridiculous," I think Annabeth muttered under her breath. Pollux was all over her apologizing and grabbing the fallen armor. He stretched out his hand to help her up, and as he did so, he said something I didn't catch because some Ares camper decided to yell at other at that time.

And Annabeth cracked a smile.

I kind of paralyzed, kind of felt like running.

* * *

"_Something was wrong with Luke," Annabeth muttered, poking at the fire with her knife. "Did you notice the way he was acting?"_

"_He looked pretty pleased to me," I said. "Like he'd spent a nice day torturing heroes."_

"_That's not true! There was something wrong with him. He looked…nervous. He told his monsters to spare me. He wanted to tell me something."_

"_Probably, 'Hi, Annabeth! Sit here with me and watch while I tear your friends apart. It'll be fun!'"_

"_You're impossible," Annabeth grumbled._

* * *

"Need any help with that?" I tried approaching her later that day, when she didn't show up for campfire. As I had figured, I found her in her cabin, hundreds of papers spread all over her bed and desk, her sitting in the middle of the mess, flipping sheets with her brow furrowed.

Annabeth jumped a bit and glared at me. "You scared me."

I shrugged, not in the mood to talk much, and knelt next to her on the floor, looking around the sea of papers. "You seriously need to take a break."

Annabeth snorted and grabbed some sketching from behind her. "Easy for you to say. Taking a break is what you've been doing most of the time while _I'm _trying to come up with a strategy to not get us killed."

"Okay, that's really unfair. I've been working my butt off every day –"

"– you're at camp."

* * *

"_Luke must have known about the Labyrinth entrance," Annabeth said. "He knew everything about camp."_

_I thought I heard a little pride in her voice, like she still respected the guy, evil as he was._

* * *

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

Annabeth threw down the paper she was analyzing and faced me. "It's okay, really. No, I don't need any help with this, Percy. You can go to the campfire singing-along."

Her tone was so angrily polite that it shut me up for a while. Part of me wanted to storm out like a child, slamming the door behind me, and not talk to her for days. I could never bring myself to do that, though. The other part of me desperately wanted to take her with me and spend time with her, just have fun and take that frown off her face.

I took a deep breath. "You could use some relaxing."

"I can't," she turned back down to her work.

"You _need_ some rest, Annabeth."

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't need you taking care of me."

* * *

_Luke emerged from the shadows. He ran to Annabeth, knelt beside her, then looked back at the unseen man. "She's fading. We must hurry."_

_The hypocrite. Like he really cared what happened to her._

* * *

I wanted to be able to stop trying. After all, I knew she was just gonna come up with another excuse for Luke.

* * *

_What I didn't say: I was also worried about Annabeth. I didn't trust what she would do if she saw Luke again. He had fooled her and manipulated her too many times before._

* * *

"_Yeah," I said. "Celestial bronze doesn't hurt mortals. Most monsters would ignore you. But Luke… he doesn't care. He'll use mortals, demigods, monsters, whatever. And he'll kill anyone who gets in his way."_

"_Nice guy," Rachel said._

"_He's under the influence of a Titan," Annabeth said defensively. "He's been deceived."_

* * *

I should have stopped trying; but maybe, just maybe, she was right. I was an idiot.

* * *

_She shook her head in disbelief. "Do you have __any idea __how dangerous that was?"_

_"I had no choice," I said. "It's the only way I can stand up to Luke."_

_"You mean__. . . _di immortales_, __of course! That's why Luke didn't die. He went to the Styx and . . . Oh no, Luke. What were you thinking?"_

_"So now you're worried about Luke again," I grumbled._

_She stared at me like I'd just dropped from space. "__What__?"_

_"__Forget__ it," I __muttered__._

* * *

_"Percy," Annabeth said quietly. "You were right about Luke."_

_Grover and I exchanged glances._

_"Annabeth," I said. "I'm sorry—"_

_"You tried to tell me." Her voice was shaky. "Luke is no good. I didn't believe you until . . . until I heard how he'd used Silena. Now I know. I __hope__you're__happy__."_

_"That doesn't make me happy."_

* * *

It kind of did, kind of didn't.


End file.
